Dear Father on Radio,
I love how you love your little girl, enough to phone in on that radio program -to weigh in on a ‘controversial’ issue affecting another young girl in another school.
To be honest, the sexual harassment case that went round (the Nigerian) social media some weeks back had every parent’s antennae up and we could hardly resist the urge to see it through and find out what happened to who in the end.
She was a vulnerable JSS II student living in the school, away from home while he was a teacher in the school. A full grown adult and a young 10 / 11yr old girl he was meant to shield and protect.
I do appreciate the fact that you also have a young daughter (of about the same age) whom you would love to protect in your own ways but I beg to disagree with your views as aired that fateful evening.
You see, I do not have a little girl but I have little boys and I was once a young girl who has been in that little girl’s shoes before. Yes, I was in her shoes but I could not tell my mom or anyone else for that matter because the person in question was a (renowned) father-figure (not my dad), well respected.
Not even a whisper to my sister who was more like my Siamese twin at the time. She was but a few meters away from where the brief encounter occurred, oblivious of my struggles as she busied herself with chores.
Maybe I thought nobody would believe me or I simply did not know what good could come from speaking out. Or maybe I did not want to be the cause of a sour relationship between two very friendly families.
Maybe I simply thought it was my fault for being ‘available’ for him to touch in the first place. In retrospect, I sorted that out by taking myself out of ‘harm’s way’ anytime I was around him after that period.
I hated being touched in that manner and he failed to understand that due to his animalistic tendences.
Something tells me that even animals seek consent before trying or doing the act. But I’d never know for certain because I have never been an animal before and I know no one who was an animal (in a previous life).
This letter is not about MY past issues but about HER issue, about THEIR issues. Mine is gone with the past, I could do nothing about it as I bore the imprints in my heart and still went on to smile and curtsy like everything was okay.
But I can definitely do something about MY children and YOUR children.
I owe it to myself and to them. Because they are our future.
Now, let me tell you why I disagree with your views.
As ‘strange’ as it may sound, little children are being molested daily, under their parents’ noses, under our
unwatchful eyes. Right under our very noses.
They are being molested regardless of their ages, orientation, backgrounds, etc.
I believe, from all I have seen and heard that 3 out of every 10 young children (you and I see) have been molested or inappropriately touched at some point, in some way.
Hard to believe, huh?
But this letter is also not about the statistics but about our attitude and mindset as parents.
On my way from work that evening when this particular topic came up, I had the opportunity of peeping into the minds of a couple of parents from their words.
The girl in question was an 11yr old JSS II girl attending a popular boarding school who reportedly ended up being (severally) inappropriately touched by a shameless male teacher.
She was sexually harassed while being at the right place, at the right time.
But she was brave enough to confide in her mother and her parents were smart enough to believe their child.
I really applaud her for being braver than I was and I believe this ugly incidence would soon be forgotten by her, hopefully. And I applaud her parents too.
They believed her enough to take actions to avoid the inevitable by engaging the school authorities and when nothing reasonable was done, they reportedly changed her school.
Smart move on their part. I really hope her new school is better than the old one.
Then you phoned in to contribute to this topic like every good parent out there wanted to do that fateful evening.
Forgive me for not remembering your exact words. I did not really want to carry those words around with me all evening as it left a very sour taste in my mouth, so bad that I struggled to resist the urge to pull over and phone in.
You said something along the line of finding the story (of how ‘that’ randy male school teacher kept touching that 10 or 11yr old girl) hard to believe.
You found it hard to believe because you had a 9 / 10yr year old daughter who was not ‘fully formed’ and you doubt whether any (sane) teacher could actually molest a girl that young!
Dear Father that called in to say these words on air (last month), may your little girl never be a victim of sexual molestation!
This is not to judge you but the more I think about this, the more I wished I had pulled over that evening to call in basically to say something on this. But I could not because I was on the Express / highway.
Let me take the liberty of bursting your bubble with a few home truths about sexual predators and child molesters you apparently did not know before now.
FIVE TRUTHS ABOUT CHILD / SEXUAL PREDATORS
- Sexual predators do not care about whether your girl is a 5yr old or a 15yr old, 10yr or 11yr old,
- Sexual predators do not care about whether your little girl is still flat chested or in a size 36 bra,
- Sexual predators do not care whether your little girl is wearing a Brazilian weave or a boyish (cropped) cut
- Sexual predators do not care about whether your girl is in a turtle neck blouse and ankle length skirt or exposed
- Sexual predators do not care whether your girl has a full face of make up on or not
They do not care about all of the above, they just do what they want to do because they are sick perverts!
I mean to assert that Sexual predators do not have a sense of what is right or wrong!
Let me give you a hint of some of the stories
burdens I carry around. Earlier in the year, I heard about a 9 month old baby who was molested…no, she was raped by a teenager!
A 9-MONTH OLD BABY.
I got horrible shivers when I heard this, from a friend.
This happened while the mother left briefly to get some stuffs from a nearby market and entrusted her baby into the care of a known and trusted neighbor.
The mother was none the wiser until she needed to change the baby’s diaper later in the evening and spotted blood!
That baby could not talk.
But now I wonder if she had been able to talk and reported that sick ‘uncle’, would she had been believed if you were her father?
These are the sort of heartbreaking stories you don’t want to keep remembering.
The case was reported to the authorities from what I heard and the sick pervert in human skin was arrested and detained. I hope he is made to suffer fully for what he did to that poor baby.
The height of sexual perversion in this land (and maybe every other land) is appalling and is definitely not a topic for today, it is for another day.
That was just one out of the three cases I heard, which happened near me (not to mention the numerous cases I read about).
How many more cases have been swept under the carpet since then?
How many more young ones are still suffering with this mindset of ours?
How many more can we possibly prevent?
Dear Father on the Radio, strange things happen and I need you to know this and take steps to protect your girl, your boy and any other little one around you.
Please take urgent steps to protect your girl child even as I try to protect my boys..and let us keep praying they never cross paths with these worse-than-animal creatures called sexual perverts.
After all being said and done, there is so little we can do…but that ‘little’, we have to diligently do and leave the big protecting acts to God. He alone is able to keep and preserve these little ones for they are His heritage…on loan to us.
From a concerned mom.