I ‘trafficated’ right and turned while blaring my horn simultaneously.

You see, I have come to master the usage of my horn very well and considering that I live in a very busy city, a good / annoyingly loud horn is non-negotiable for me.

I rested my palm on the noise-making contraption again and was soon rewarded with the sight I needed to see, to get me off the busy street.

M’med speedily flung open the gate as if to say..abeg ma’am take it easy make we hear word.

We drove in as I braced myself for what’s coming next. And I wasn’t disappointed either. Never been.

Gleeful shouts of ‘M’med…mummy, I want to be the first to greet and hug M’med.’

Out of the car they both bounded as they raced each other from the car to the gate to hug M’med and possibly help him shut the gate.

That had been the custom for as far back as I could recall..since 2015…this they do, regardless of how subtly I try to dissuade them from making it a habit.

M’med is neither their father…nor their uncle…nor a ‘family friend’…nor a colleague..not a relation of ours but an employee at the house we live in and his job description is to ‘guard’ the small black gate.

They are called ‘mai-guard’ or ‘gate-man’ in this part of the world.

He is a Moslem Northerner, diligently manning the gate in addition to his little kiosk where he sells his wares to willing consumers.

I try to subtly…just subtly distract and discourage them from the sometimes-twice daily (morning and evening) routine because I still don’t know what makes M’med tick and whether these quirky display of love from my little guys are 100% okay with him considering our very different backgrounds and orientations. Plus I don’t see any of the other kids in the compound doing this.

“M’med is our friend…isn’t it, mummy?”

“Yes, he is.”

“And he’s also our family.”

“Family? He is a ‘friend’ but not family”.

“But God created everything and everybody and he is the father of Adam and Eve and the grandfather of everybody”.

“So M’med is our family too.”

“Oh…yes, you’re right. M’med is family”.

”And we love M’med because he’s our family, is that not true, mummy?”

Of course, it’s true.

The only answer is to affirm when presented with such logical argument. You’ve got no choice than to acquiesce.

I admit, again, I am learning a great deal from these kids even though I kid myself that I do the teaching most times. They are in actual fact the teachers.

They are naturals. Especially my D1.

How I wish M’med’s kith and kin, Nigeria, Iran, Paris, and everywhere else would hear these words and stop the maddening killing spree.

We are indeed friends…and I dare to stand with my lil men to say, we are family.

Well, we should be.

True friends and families do pretty little else than love one another, look out for one another and co-habit in peace.

Love is the way to live. Peace is the way to go.

Isn’t it funny how it is these little ones that are constantly breaking the moud? Crushing and trampling on them all day long?

There is SOMEBODY I know who set the pace and rhythm for mold-breaking. He it was who sat with people perceived and considered sinners in those days, bantering (in my mind), dining, wining, lounging, relaxing, teaching, entertaining them and being entertained by them.

No restrictions whatsoever, no bridges.

No perception of who was a ‘mai-guard’ or ‘madam’ or ‘babiala’, no discrimination of class, social standing, gender, bla bla bla.

How many times did we read that he was moved with compassion at certain ‘sights’? Compassion that could only have flowed from a place of love. And I bet those guys of old were not all of the same religious orientation as him. I bet they did not entirely agree with His views and opinions about living, way of life, dressing, music, even football but he still fraternized with them. And loved them.

I could picture the settings in my mind.

This is not a religious thing, but it is a LOVE thing. Yeah, right.


My religion is simple..My religion is LOVE.. (1)

Some Lessons I’ve Learned, Unlearned and Re-Learning…

  • Regardless of religion (geographical location, skin color, social standing, political affiliations, etc), WE ARE FAMILY. (I should know, right?)
  • The real ‘knowing’ God is to value His creations and love them, regardless of bullet point 1A
  • Friends (and families) do little else than love, (hug), look out for one another and co-habit in peace.
  • I need to be careful of the limiting cocoon I’ve built around me, lest I completely hem myself in on all sides
  • I am the student while these little ones are the teachers. 
  • Love is all we need…He is LOVE, remember?













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18 Replies to “Breaking the Mold :We Are Family”

  1. Hnmmm, the ‘naturalness’ of children is so amazing… May God watch over them and help the ones that are being abused by wicked people! So much to learn from them…

  2. I love hearing a child’s perception and perspective on things… their honest words can teach so much.

    I have always said that nothing can go wrong if you love… love, love, love… and then love some more. This world and the people in it need love, desperately. I will gladly be the Lord’s hands and feet to express that love.

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

  3. The innocence of kids is so beautiful, hence, our creator asked us to be like children.
    I watched a very inspiring movie years back and the monk said:
    God is not a Christain.
    God is not a Muslim.
    God is not a hindu.
    God is not a monk.
    God is not a jew.
    God is LOVE!

  4. What an incredible lesson and reminder. I am constantly being reminded of that fact that God is love — through His word and the experiences around me. Children seriously give such important lessons because of their innocent and unique perspectives and it is so wise of you to recognize that as well!

    1. Thanks, Esther.
      They constantly remind us of this and so many other facts, about life…about love. The lessons we learn from them, daily are too important to be ignored. If only we can be like them, if only a little. If only.

      Much love,

  5. What a beautiful story! It is amazing to me how clearly children see these matters and it always makes me sad that there are so many people in the world who overlook this simple truth. We are all part of the human family and owe each other love and respect.

    Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!

  6. What a great lesson from this piece! Children do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. While we try to teach our children all about life, they try to teach us what life is all about. Everything about them is love, love and love. Hmmm…the BIBLE is so complete. Thanks to D1 and D2 for this awakening.

    1. They do a better job at this teaching thing than us, if only we ‘settle’ down, listen, observe and emulate them.

      D1 & D2 are saying thanks to you for reading, my friend.

  7. The perspectives of children to issues are usually amazing and insightful. May we as adults be always true to issues,people and to ourselves the same way children are. We are indeed one family from the same creator. ..God

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