Talking to Kids About Sex: 10 Practical Ideas

How early is early when it comes to teaching young children about sex? Do we put off sex education till they find out by themselves or until we feel they are old enough to learn? When is the right time to start this crucial conversation?
Teaching kids about sex

 

Another noon. Another time.

‘Mummy, why do parents get angry when their children become pregnant?’

‘And where did you see parents getting angry at their pregnant children, Mr. young man?’

On Africa magic.

That Africa magic again.

Of course, this opened up a line of discussion on getting pregnant or impregnating someone out of wedlock, while still under ‘parental control’ and what the bible says, etc etc.

We really do have to milk it for all its worth but you and I know that line of action is bound to lead to other stuffs, especially if you have a bunch of curious chatter boxes as children.

‘So why did Mary (the mother of Jesus) become pregnant without even getting married in the bible if God doesn’t want people to do that?”

Mighty big question, that one.

”Was that ‘even’ a miracle?”

Yeah…yeah. It really was a miracle which transcends all human understanding and a part of the grand design to save mankind from sin and death.

On and on it went as I warmed up to the session, enjoying myself tremendously until he said…

”Thank God I don’t even know how to get anybody pregnant”

Huh?

Come again…Pardon?

I don’t know where that came from, I still don’t know. I never know.

Despite writing letters to my daughter in laws, I had never really thought seriously of the day my little boys would grow away from me and start doing the ‘act’…leading to some tiny patters of feet…and answering million questions from their version of mini chatter boxes.

These boys that I impulsively sweep off their feet for cuddles and kisses are growing and will grow out of these arms into the arms of some others, one day. But I do not want to think of that day yet. Not now.

To say I was numbed is an understatement.

Hello…young man…you are seven!!!

And. I. Don’t. Want. You. Getting. Anybody. Pregnant.

As much as I do not want to think about my boy doing the act before he is ripe, it got me thinking about sex education and when those awkward conversations are going to start.

I mean all those discussions about eggs, sperm, fertilization, etc. which I alluded to in this post.

When is the right / appropriate time to initiate the talk about sex with young children?

How early is early for sex education a la birds & bees?

Image source

I know I am going to be very embarrassed when they start asking more pointed questions which I have to answer but I’ve got to prevent that by initiating the talk before they even think of asking.

I do not want to allow their curiosity run wild or push them to other sources for information. They make them ultra curious now…more than our times…and with all the scary stuffs out there…

Really have to start talking the talk now. And not in the ‘whew..I got that out of the way’ fashion. At least I hope to make it a continuous line of discussion once initiated.

I say it’s time (for me) to simply brace up and grip the bull by the horn. Like we eventually did with the privates talk.

Child educators suggest having the talk in early childhood and I also believe now, that no age is really too early to start the real ‘adultsy’ talk about sex. Sex education is better initiated before they start asking out of curiosity.

Truth is, the message of sex is everywhere and one thing is certain:

..if we don't talk to our kids about sex early, someone else will. Click To Tweet

They will definitely get the information, good, bad and ugly from other sources. The media. Their friends / peers. Information that could be flawed or harmful.

It is our responsibility as parents to give our kids accurate information about sex Click To Tweet.

Image source

SEX EDUCATION: 10 (Hopefully) Useful Ideas for Passing on a Healthy View to Our Kids

  1. Be practical, positive and honest – let them know what God’s intentions for sex are,
  2. Present the facts to them in love -biblically and biologically,
  3. Be a good role model, practice what you preach,
  4. Be accessible and approachable, do not be too busy to listen and talk,
  5. Make information available, always,
  6. Find out about the sex education program in your kids school (even though I did not set out to find out because my kids are still ‘young’ but it just happened that I popped the ‘sex education’ question at a meeting to discuss an entirely different issue at the school),
  7. Allow your children express themselves while you express your opinions and expectations,
  8. Let them know that sex is good and hormones are bound to act up when they least expect, let them know how to deal with it when the time comes,
  9. Never avoid the subject, it won’t go away,
  10. Trust them to listen, obey and do the right thing…and let them know you do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Biola Leye

Wife, mother, writer, leader, entrepreneur and lover of all things good.

2 thoughts on “Talking to Kids About Sex: 10 Practical Ideas

  • May 31, 2016 at 2:50 am
    Permalink

    This is such a scary topic to me. I feel that the media is trying to force sexual images and themes on our children before they are mature and ready to handle them. You bring up a good point that we need to control that conversation in a safe, loving and honest way.

    Reply
  • June 11, 2016 at 8:32 pm
    Permalink

    This is a great post hun. I had this talk with my eldest (who is 11) last year when he was doing sex education in school. I thought I’d be super embarrassed to discuss sex with my children but as it turned out I was able to talk seriously about it in a way that he could understand. I allowed him to ask questions and told him if he ever wanted to talk I’d be there. He WAS embarrassed though. He didn’t want to ask questions. But I guess that’s just his age.
    A great topic for discussion, thanks so much for linking to #PoCoLo

    Reply

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