I watch you gleefully skip down the stairway
Unaware of the uncertainty in my eyes, you were
On this exciting path, yet untrod by you
Can you feel me hold my breath?
See how my heart follow your little steps
As I try to bravely cheer you on this lone journey
My voice yearns to be the loudest in your heart
Thunderous in the stillness of the day.
Today, you are released like a dove
To breathe as you flap in readiness to explore
The world beckons now to see you unfold
I fear no more for the WORD is with you.
So today, we made a huge leap.
Yeah, it is a big leap…and an unrehearsed one at that. I had wanted to do this for a while as part of teaching the lil men self-confidence.
I guess it is in order to be proud of such insignificant moments that defines the beginning of independence, even if such steps consists of going on errands, alone, for the first time.
A world breaking record, that one. Considering the high-fiving and dancing that attended the ‘coming home’ celebration.
The lofty achievement seriously consists of allowing D1 go on an errand, all by himself. And then I followed him all the way with my heart, holding my breath…watching anxiously from our second floor window, to ensure absolute ‘compliance’ to the instructions.
Okay, I knew he was going to be fine. But seriously, I could not but watch to ensure he was truly okay. Because I was unsure of my decision.
Mama is going to be anxiously breathing down your neck at every turn…watch out for that.
Down the stairs and out on to the road. Okay, not exactly onto the road.
By the road and on the road aren’t the same thing now, are they?
He went, happy to be doing a big something grown ups do. Glad to be set free to run ‘big-boy’ errands.
Parenting consists of such moments, so I am learning. Tiny baby steps turning to bigger toddler strides of insignificant but poignant achievements.
And regardless of the pep talks and self encouragement, the strands of colorful worrying chromosome isn’t going to just disappear from our Parent DNA.
I worried about so much even though the errand took all of 3 minutes.
Like, is it okay to send him all by himself out into the world?
I exaggerate. I know, considering that ‘the world’ here is just downstairs to hand over a key to someone by the side of the road.
But I worried, still. And he made it.
And we high-fived and sang and did our silly little dance.
Only then was I able to breathe more easily..so here is to more of such breathe – easy moments.
Th whole point of this
silly little story is: whenever you are the main character in one of such earth-moving parenting movies, remember to stop ‘over-parenting’ or being ‘over-protective’ for a few seconds and BREATHE because…it would be fine.
Another point is…we cannot hold them in our arms forever but our hearts will keep following their little steps. And that is just fine.
One more point is…they would be fine without us breathing down their necks…so we can just relax knowing that we had brought them up to be able to hold their own (in this wild wild world)…to be strong and compliant…
…most importantly, they would be fine because God’s eyes are on them…EVERY second.