Dear Mom of Girl(s)..

Letter to a fellow mom
Letter to a fellow mom
Dear MOG / Fellow Mom,

I love that we have something in common, just a little something -we are both parents. Be it of girls or boys, biological or adoptive. It does not matter in the least.

I have a growing concern which I would love to share with you in the hope that we would come to an agreement in the end, that is if I do not bore you half-way through my rambling.

You see, I grew up in an age and environment where children were allowed to be children and adults allowed to be adults as opposed to what is obtainable now in some climes. Seriously.

It wasn’t the stone age but in my house, dresses and skirts were always knee length and pants had enough room. No skinny-show-me-your-figure kind of stuffs. God help you if you refuse to put on what was picked for you to wear to outings / events / occasions.

I never had the ‘opportunity’ to wear make up until I gained admission into the tertiary institution. And I would often ponder on how ‘mean’ mom was. Like, why would you disallow a young girl from doing stuffs like that? Sacrilege of the highest order!

Same went for wearing weaves and braids. In those days, if you were yet to ‘clear’ your SSCE, you wouldn’t dare raise the issue of ‘making’ your hair? You just wear your boyish low cuts with forced pride while all your mates flip their weaves playing grown-ups even during short school holidays.

I used to envy ‘them’ at the time and ‘making’ my hair was one of the motivations for me to work harder in order to achieve some form of ‘liberation’. Hahaha.

On becoming a mom with little time to spare, ‘making’ same hair is such a chore and I love nothing more than my low-maintenance, hassle-free boyish low-cut. Talk of irony.

Maybe your parents were more liberal than mine but I believe my parents had their reason for putting those rules in place and I understand enough to appreciate their efforts now that I’m a parent even though I (silently) despised their ‘highhandedness’ back then. Were they living in outer space or what?
(Thanks, mom…will always love you)

I can see the times have drastically changed. At least from what is evident all around me.
It appears some of us ‘millenial’ parents cannot just wait to have our little ones grow up, super-fast. And I am not exempting myself here.

More like these little ones are being aided in their innocent growing-up-before-their-time quest.

You have a little girl or two, or three? I have two little boys and believe me, I envy you…a bit for having cute ‘mini-yous’ to adorn and coordinate outfits with.

I love little girls and when I see them dressed beautifully, my heart go a-fluttering.

But in my fluttering heart of hearts, dressing little girls beautifully does not consist of groomed lashes / brows, crimson lips, foundation and the rest that you would find on fully grown models.

One day- in the recent past, I was minding my own business on Facebook when I came across a picture of one of my ‘friend’s daughter on my timeline. You know how we have ‘friends’ we barely know or interact with on FB…

A sweet little girl who is really beautiful and not in the ‘all girls are beautiful’ way but a few quick observations soon made me uneasy.

Her brows were apparently groomed / shapened / lined with ‘dark’ pencil, she had on a weave and her lips were ‘helped’ with some light color. The overall effect was beautiful. Sexy, even…and I’m a mom…and she could not had been more than 4 years!

Quite a number of my ‘friend’s friends’ posted comments ‘ohing’ and ‘awwing’ over the pretty picture and I had half a mind to send a message to the parent who put up the picture but then, I had to keep minding my own business and keep my unsolicited advice to myself for fear of being told off.

I know..I know I’m doling out that same advice now, unsolicited.

Maybe I feel differently because I’m a MOB (mother of boy(s) who doesn’t know jack about how little princesses are dolled up these days. Maybe it’s the in-thing. Who knows? Maybe I’m archaic…or from outer space, like my mom.

Mom of girl

Mom and son




MOG or MOB…we are one on this journey..


I just couldn’t help it.

In the far recesses of my clueless mom-of-boys mind, I could understand MOGs wanting to have the cutest little girl on the block  but a little bit of caution wouldn’t be out of order now, would it?

See, if that little girl could conjure a ‘sexy’ image in my mind, I shudder to think of what would go through the mind of the many sick predators lurking around.

I do not even want to link this with the surge in rape incidences but it is worrisome that little girls form a great percentage of rape victims, around me. I read quite a number of cases in the papers and heard about at least 3 different cases in my neighborhood recently and it makes me wonder what the world is turning into.

Little girls as young as 9 months being sexually assaulted by irresponsible sick animals called rapists and you wonder what sort of sick attraction could had led to such sick acts.
Apology to the animal kingdom. Those scumbags are worse than animals.

It’s beyond reason sometimes but I think it’s time we -MOGs and MOBs unite to take the destinies of these little ones in our hands, at least while they are in our custody.

We have a role to play, sweet MOG. Big one. Like protecting them and INTENTIONALLY reducing exposures to the dangerous ‘elements’.

If we fail to ‘act right’ for their sake and try to prevent some of these ugly occurrences in our own capacities (although there is really a limit to what we can do), then we are as guilty of robbing them of their innocence as much as those sick predators around.

You’ve been to a children’s party lately?
You see how kids are dolled and glammed up?
You see the winding of waist a la ‘twerking’ by little girls all in the name of dancing?
You see the sensual moves?

I was at one party earlier in the year and I was like…really?
Some of the moves would put even Kaffy (a dancer here in Nigeria) to shame ‘cos some of these little girls could / would give her a run for her money.
Where do our kids pick those moves from?

Of course, that doesn’t require an answer.

If you were there, chances are you would be as amused as I was for those cuties were actually a delight to watch in their innocent attempts to be ‘grown-ups’ but we really need to watch it. Seriously.

Apologies if I come across as opinionated but I’m not sure we have tenable reasons to clad our little innocent ones in very skimpy wears with ‘full head’ of weaves complete with ‘full face’ of make-up all in the name of wanting them to look cute and adorable.

We have to get real and get to work. And this is not even remotely suggesting that our cute ones should stop being ‘adorned’ with pretty stuffs…but moderation is one of the keywords here.

They are beautiful, cute and adorable enough the way they are, in all their sweet innocence.

Let us allow them enjoy their childhood properly and when they’re fully grown, they would make their own choices / decisions themselves. Right ones too if we get the foundation right, God helping us.

If I were to have a little girl, maybe I would take my own advise and guard her jealously but what do I know after-all I am just a mom of two little boys who still wouldn’t eat their veggies?

In all, I really do hope you would discountenance the fact that I am just a blubbering MOB (who still yell and struggle with this parenting thing) trying to remove the specks of dust in your eyes through the log in mine.

Thank you.

From another concerned Mom,



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Biola Leye

Wife, mother, writer, leader, entrepreneur and lover of all things good.

10 thoughts on “Dear Mom of Girl(s)..

  • February 26, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    You hit the nail on the head. I see young girls around all the time doing and wearing things that I know my mother never would have allowed! Aside from the worries of what is appropriate and dangers of child predators, I also worry that all this focus on looks at such a young age sends our girls the message that the most important thing is to be pretty…which is definitely not the values I want to instill in my daughter! While I see no harm in playing dress-up and getting into mommy’s make-up from time to time, there definitely need to be limits in place.

    Thank you for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays!

    • February 27, 2016 at 1:49 pm

      Arrgh…the concern is legitimate although some might see it as taking medicine for somebody else’ headache. I for one do not want these young ones to place too much premium on looks, it’s really not the way to go or grow but that’s just my opinion and I am so old school.

      Thanks, Brandyn.

  • February 29, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Our only was born in 1977 & she had to wear pants and tops with frilly stuff on them as she had not much hair, she eventually got the hair white and gold..She wanted to wear stuff tooo old for her and I never let her her daddy did not either..Why try to be older she did not start kindergarten until almost 6 because she was a fall babydoll, she was tiny and smart as a whip! She hated the kids who were slower than her and excelled, when she graduated from high school she graduated with a AA degree two days after..Then college she met really young brainiacs completing their BS degrees who tried to act older but really at only 18 and almost thru their discipline she got the message I always said one had to develop as a person in this world before one is really an adult..She is not concerned with this trend or look she works in the film industry and sees what beautiful people are like on the inside and she is not impressed..They lead a majority of them terribly unhappy lives..she doesn’t want to be like that at all! Guess we raised a wonderful human being we adore!

  • March 4, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    I’m a dad of a daughter, not a mom, but I’m fortunate that mine would rather wear a cape and mask most days than a tiara or dress. (most days) I understand the desire to have your kid “look cute” but they grow up fast enough without pushing them towards over caring about their appearance

    • March 5, 2016 at 8:53 pm

      Your daughter is a princess in cape and mask. I love that.

      I wish our little ones would grow up with lots more ‘valuable’ value set than the ‘one-dimensional beauty’ mindset only…it begins with us.

      Thanks for stopping by, Jeremy.

  • March 5, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    Children in the United States often are not llowed to maintain their youth and sweet innocence in so many ways. This is a pet peeve of mine. This is a well written article. Pinned and shared. Thanks for linking up at #ThursdayFavoriteThings! I hope you will join me at #Wonderful Wednesday.

    • March 5, 2016 at 8:56 pm

      You are not alone, Marilyn.

      It’s not peculiar to the United States only, I believe it’s more of a ‘global issue’ right now.

      I love #ThursdayFavoriteThings, would definitely join the party on Wednesday.


  • March 6, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    I couldn’t agree with you more! Let them be little.

    Thank you for sharing with us at Faith Filled Parenting! We hope you’ll join us again tomorrow!

  • March 9, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    Agreeing that kids should be kids and not mini-adults – sounds as if I grew up in a similar environment, and feel grateful for that. Thanks for linking up to #PoCoLo

  • Pingback:Here are Five Truths About Sexual Predators - Ramblings of a Naija Momaholic

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