Head-butting Fear, Anyone?

Seven years since I got married and started the ‘knowing’ business. Whoops. And five years since we had D1, 3 years since God added D2 to the crew.

…and I should add…five years since I started quaking before a certain monster called fear.

You see, after we had D1, hubby wanted me to do a certain test which every woman sexually active in the bedroom department and/or whose cervix hallway had given passage to a certain cute and squeamish creature is always advised to do.

Cervical Cancer screening.

But I was scared and kept putting it off.

Just because.
Everything is great and I feel good now. It’s only the ‘unwell’ that seeks medical help, right? Wrong.
It would be painful. Yes. And who likes pain? Definitely not me.
I’ve only ‘known’ one man all my life so what’s the use anyway?
I’m the apple of the eyes of the most high God, He wouldn’t allow anything to touch me now.
What could possibly go wrong? Huh?

Fast forward to four years later.

Then I started having these fear-inducing symptoms that made me put on my research garbs and pounce on Google for answers.

And more fear gripped my heart. And the fear turned into courage. Because I didn’t want to die just yet. Lol. Not now. Not in 60 years if He tarries.

I just had to to look this Goliath square in the face. Tons days of self-psyching and encouraging later, I dragged myself to the clinic to do the needful.
My sling half-raised, still quivering with some residual fear, I shifted my weight on the green outfitted bed and stared at the white-washed ceiling, my heart palpating wildly threatening to jump out of my chest…waiting for the inevitable…matronly Matron to come and get it done and deliver the verdict.

She strode in, took one look at my face and started explaining what she was going to do, how it was a simple and absolutely painless procedure. It wasn’t going to be painful, at all and I was only going to feel a slight discomfort. Bla bla bla…and my mind was going…who is she trying to kid?

I just smiled through my fear and said I fully understand and she could continue.

Pant dropped. Legs spread wide apart. Hands gripping the bed rails. Eyes tightly shut.

A whizzing sound. Slight discomfort like she promised and 5 seconds later, we were done.
Just. like. that. I just had my first cervical screening done!

More importantly, I just head-butted one of my biggest fears. Maybe I didn’t actually head-butt it but I really did kicked it in the groin, where it mattered. Still have a couple of them that I am working on though and I’m busy flexing my muscles. In due time, the stone(s) will fly and hit the target in the head, rightly so.

I do believe fear is the most cancerous (no pun intended) and debilitating emotion there is. Tweet. Tweet.

It prevents us from moving when/where it matters and gnaws away at the good we have to offer -bit by bit- while crippling us from exploring our dreams. It shifts our focus from what and where it should rightly be.

(Anything and everything could have gone wrong while I dilly dallied; now I’m in training to be a David-kind of warrior against fear)

And I choose to share this today- February 4, 2014, the ‘official’ World Cancer Day to encourage someone reading this.

Do not allow fear rule your life and becloud your vision.
Stand tall, get your stones and slings ready and aim. You can’t miss the Goliaths’ head.
Rise up. Do the good you are cut out to do.

Cancer is not called the ‘silent killer’ for no reason and cervical cancer is just one of the numerous types of this deadly disease out there, but it’s one of the commonest for women. Cancer also occur in the breast, ovary, vulva, etc.

PS: Get yourself screened and catch those cells before they start multiplying
PPS: Spread the word and encourage others to get themselves checked out
PPPS: Live a healthy lifestyle
PPPPS: Life is short, don’t shorten it further.

Do you have similar experience of crippling fear? Have you ever been held back from doing good as a result of fear? Have you ever been scared of anything or situation which you eventually overcame?

I would like to know how you felt and handled it, please feel free to share.

Keep head-butting ALL your fears. (It’s really not painful…prevention they say…is the best)


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11 thoughts on “Head-butting Fear, Anyone?

  • February 4, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    Oh Abiola…I know exactly how you feel. Fear of the unknown is a terrible, all consuming thing.
    I still procrastinate about going to have this test done. Not because its painful, tho slightly uncomfortable..but because Im a very private person. Silly I know because its so important that we women have it done. Touch wood…had one done… and everything is fine
    A very thought provoking post..thank you for sharing
    Phoebe x

  • February 4, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Knowing me, I think I'm the most afraidest person in the world.

  • February 4, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    First, your URL continues disappearing from my blog roll, don't know why.
    My worst fear?……..hmmm…nothing comes to mind right now…but am easily scared 🙂

  • February 6, 2014 at 11:14 am

    I scare easily….and there are times I am as fearless as David when he faced Goliath. I hate fear because it holds me bound sometimes..it is well

  • February 10, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Fear is so consuming it clouds good reasoning sometimes.

    Though it wasn't mentioned as part of my reasons for delaying having the test done but I hate any form of 'privacy invasion', so you are not alone.

    Thanks a bunch for your comments, I've missed you around here…

  • February 10, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Hahaha…untonyto…you just met an afraider person…lol

    Thanks for visiting.

  • February 10, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Wonder what is wrong with Blogger…we all are easily scared when confronted with scary situations but the key is not succumbing. Kicking it out before it cripples us.

    Thanks for visiting, sistah.

  • February 10, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    It really is like a chain, holding us down from moving, from achieving, from reaching our pinnacle.
    We can choose to allow it have a field day always, at our expense or be like David. I bet he was a tad scared when he caught a glimpse of what he was up against but chose to rise and do the needful knowing he's got a bigger Force backing him.

    It really is well.

  • March 18, 2014 at 3:55 am

    Oh yes, that gripping fear! As I read your post I could feel the fear because I have had that kind of fear before. Thank you for your words of encouragement and wisdom, sweet friend!

    Hope you are doing well – thinking of you! Hugs!

  • April 8, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Fear does seem to be a common enemy. Together, we can all conquer it…I believe.

    And yes, I am doing well, thank you.

    Hugging you right back.

  • Pingback:Be Anxious.. | Ramblings of a Naija Momaholic

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